David Wadler’s Assorted Thoughts

3/12/2004

Can I Eat Crow for Dessert?

Filed under: Miscues — admin @ 6:29 am

I suppose that I’ve had my doubts about Time since they started featuring Joel Stein during the Walter Isaacson years. However, the mistake that I brought to your attention in the previous entry is not a mistake at all. The term “just deserts” invokes a rarely-used definition (and pronunciation) of deserts meaning “the quality or fact of deserving reward or punishment.” (Thanks Merriam Webster.) I’m not the only one to have fallen victim to this misapprehension. A thank you to Elisa Huang for setting me straight.

Those of you who feel that I’m lose my “edge” or find myself chastened have another thing coming. :-) The other error I picked up in the same issue of Time results from another common misapprehension. Richard Corliss, in his article “Baseball Takes A Hit“, intimates that Lyle Alzado’s death of cancer was related in some way to his abuse of steroids. According to doctors, there is no link between the type of cancer that killed the brash Raider and steroids. In fairness, Corliss is hardly the only journalist guilty of making this implication. But the continued tying of Alzado’s death to performance-enhancing drugs demonstrates that our misinterpretations are easily reinforced. Now excuse me, while go drown my sorrows in a bowl full of my just desserts. (Bad pun intended.)

Sand in My Chocolate Mousse

Filed under: General, Miscues — admin @ 2:12 am

Time Magazine Cover - 3-15-04

I fully expect that this blog - and anything on my website for that matter - will contain spelling and grammatical errors. It’s the inevitable consequence of writing at the wee hours of the morning and having no third party to proofread. (In the interest of irony, I was going to title this entry “Sand in My Chocolate Moose,” but fortunately recalled that irony is dead.) On the other hand, Time has layers upon layers of editing, but nobody seemed to catch the fact that “Dessert” is fundamentally different than “Desert.” I suppose the magazine’s staff can take some solace for while they screwed up a pun, they’ve now tied Martha Stewart to the outcome in Iraq. (And the prosecution couldn’t even make the securities fraud charges stick!) It seems like our fallen domestic diva will be doing her time somewhere between Basra and Najaf. I wonders if she envisions the capital city in a subdued and tasteful pink.

3/11/2004

Fehr and Loathing in Washington, D.C.

Filed under: Sports, Baseball, Politics — admin @ 10:25 am

Despite advance warning, in 2003 enough baseball players tested positive for steroids that MLB could have fielded five all-steroid starting lineups with “enhanced” pinch hitters to spare. As homerun totals have increased in recent years, baseball fans and analysts alike have crowed about “juiced baseballs.” It’s clear that it wasn’t just the balls that were on the juice.

By most early indications, even if more players than those who tested positive are steroid users, the preponderance of major leaguers is clean. Although it’s not possible to accurately quantify — in terms of baseball stats — the actual value of taking illegal performance enhancing drugs, science shows us that there are very real improvements in strength, power, and recovery time. This effectively “unlevels” the playing field, providing a game time advantage to those who decide to risk the harmful side effects of these drugs.

Headed by Donald Fehr, the Major League Baseball Player’s Association (MLBPA) is unquestionably the most powerful union in American professional sports. Yesterday, Fehr was one of several higher-ups from the major professional sports leagues who testified before the Senate Commerce Committee on the subject of steroids. Was calling this hearing a rather obvious case of grandstanding on the part of the committee members? It seems so, but let’s look at the facts….

The raison d’etre of a union is to represent and protect the interests of their constituents. Members are asked — and often expected — to forgo personal gain for the good of the union. But if the majority of major leaguers are not using illegal performance enhancing drugs, the absence of a real testing policy protects only the minority of players who do. Moreover, in a sport where the difference between making a squad and being the last cut could amount to hundred of thousands or even millions of dollars, the inaction of the MLBPA could be financially damaging to its union members. (Similarly, if steroids can turn an excellent player into an elite player, it will drive up his market value, which may cause a team to slash other parts of the payroll.)

Even if the testing trial results of 5%-7% are an accurate representation of MLB’s steroid problem (and like most, I’m skeptical), the outcry over the issue has compromised the reputation of the entire league. If the impropriety here is bad, then it may well be that the appearance of greater impropriety is worse. The union’s refusal to agree to a real policy has resulted in scandal that has cast a shadow over all the players — even the ones who haven’t so much as jaywalked. The irony here is that the very institution that exists to protect the players is primarily responsible for the irreparable damage done to their reputations. (Yes, irreparable is a strong word, but I think that people will forever raise an eyebrow when looking at the offensive totals from this era.)

Often lost in this is the MLPBA’s soon-to-be $2.5 million/year man Don Fehr’s personal quandary; he currently maintains two opposing viewpoints! By day, Fehr is the purported mouth of major league baseball players. He’s the guy who looks John McCain in the eyes and says this:

“We believe that testing of an individual, not because of something he is suspected to have done, but simply because he is a member of a particular class, is at odds with fundamental principles of which we in this country have long and rightly been proud. It is not up to the individual to prove he is innocent, especially of a charge of which he is not reasonably suspected.”

Somewhere between five and seven percent of major leaguers failed drug tests that they knew were coming. That’s not ample reason for us to suspect that there are players taking steroids? Beyond that, were any of these players to apply for a job at most investment banks, consulting firms, or various other companies, they would be compelled to take a drug test. In his other role, Don Fehr might be more inclined to agree with my views on testing. In 2003, Fehr was appointed by the very same committee for whom he testified yesterday to head a Senate task force charged with cleaning up the U.S. Olympic Committee. The Olympic movement, though imperfect, is perhaps the role-model for drug testing in sports. Olympic athletes are subject to year-round, random, unannounced tests for over 100 banned substances. The first infraction results in a two-year suspension. The second ends one’s career. Contrast this with baseball’s policy: Five strikes and you’re out…for a little while, but then you can come back.

It may be going too far to say that Donald Fehr is aiding and abetting criminals although steroids are a controlled substance. He is without question, however, an enabler. While we obsess about the integrity of the game, the larger issue still looms: Players who obtain and use steroids are breaking the law. As an attorney, Fehr is ostensibly bound — both legally and ethically — to not only protect his client’s rights, but to uphold the law. Perhaps he should listen more intently to NFL Player’s Association chief Gene Upshaw, who was also a participant in yesterday’s hearing. “To allow the use of steroids and banned substances would not only condone cheating, but also compel others to use them to remain competitive,” Upshaw said. “We have a responsibility to protect our players from the demonstrated adverse health effects of steroids and banned substances.” If only the MLBPA felt so responsible.

3/9/2004

Andy? Not so dandy.

Filed under: Sports, Baseball — admin @ 11:49 am

Here in New York, there remains lingering concern over the Yankees pitching staff, particularly over the absence of a left-hander in the rotation. While an argument can certainly be made for the value of a southpaw starter, acquiring quality pitching is far more important that signing a guy just because he throws from the first-base side of the mound. But what of the case of Andy Pettitte? When he signed with the Astros this offseason, sports radio talk show switchboards were practically ablaze with angry callers. Surely the Yanks botched an opportunity to resign a pitcher who was not only left-handed, but who had established himself as one of the top starters in baseball.

George Steinbrenner is widely perceived as public enemy number one when if comes to throwing baseball’s competitive balance out of whack. With a payroll that’s 50% greater than the second highest in the league, the Yankees have had the luxury of overpaying players, knowing full well that they can buy their way out of mistakes. Raul Mondesi doesn’t work out? Ship him out and pay his salary. Jeff Weaver’s not living up to expectations? That’s okay when you’ve outbid every team for Jose Contreras– a pitcher with no major league experience whom Joe Torre wanted to start the 2003 season in the minors. It’s no wonder then that Yankee fans cried foul when Pettitte departed to Houston. Understandable, yes. Sensible? Certainly not.

Put simply, Andy Pettitte is a good pitcher — not a great one — and not worth $12 million/season. In fact, over the course of his career, he has given up more hits than he’s pitched innings. His ERA has been a bit better than the league average over this time. In fact, the stats that really jump out when discussing Pettitte are his wins and losses. His win percentage is outstanding. Why? With the exception of his rookie year, Pettitte has pitched for a first place team every year of his career. The Yankees have been an offensive dynamo and their pitchers have been beneficiaries of that scoring. (Strangely, they didn’t score many runs for Mussina, but lit it up for Clemens when the latter won the 2001 Cy Young despite slightly trailing the former in almost every significant statistical category.) But the Yankee fans continue to clamor, “We need a lefty!” Maybe so (though I tend to disagree). Whatever the case may be, Pettitte is not the dominant southpaw that the Yankee fans think him to be. In 2003, he was rocked by left-handed batters to the tune of a .321 batting average and .783 OPS. (He fared substantially better against righties, notching a .254 average against and allowing a .687 OPS.) Using a larger, more statistically significant sample covering the years 2001-2003, Pettitte shows almost no lefty-righty split. Over that time, lefties put up a .707 OPS and righties answered with .704. Respectable numbers indeed, but hardly an indication of dominance over left-handed hitters.

On the current Yankee team, Pettitte would find himself the #4 pitcher, behind Mussina, Vasquez, and (a healthy) Kevin Brown. Similarly, on Houston, he’ll be behind Oswalt, Miller, and Clemens. For once, the Yankees were fiscally responsible as they declined to offer an inflated multi-year contract for a #4 pitcher who will be turning 32 this year. And better still for Yankee fans, with all that money that Steinbrenner saved, the Bronx Bombers will be able absorb the overpriced contract of a left-handed starter on the eve of the trading deadline.

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